Being brave isn't doing something that everyone else thinks is courageous. Brave is fighting your own personal fears and overcoming them to do or become something in your own life you were afraid of. People think I'm brave for adopting or for selling our house and going on a life adventure in an RV but for me those things are easy. I'm not brave for that. MY BRAVE is learning to be real and true with my own emotions... the deep, hidden, secret fears of failure and rejection that hold me back from pursuing my dreams of things like creating blog videos, sign language videos, or pursuing my dream of public speaking and presenting because of personal fears of failing and insecurities with the way I look.
MY BRAVE is facing the truth that I don't even know what I truly feel most of the time because I take on everyone else's expectations of what I should feel or I just take on their emotions and pain because it's easier than facing my own. MY BRAVE is not quitting too early for fear of failure. MY BRAVE is taking time to seek healing for my childhood abuse and rapes so I can stop pretending that I don't have deep hurts that negatively affect my choices in life. MY BRAVE is having to actually feel and work through that pain again instead of just knowing it's there and discussing events.
This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend a retreat hosted by The Younique Foundation. I started selling Younique makeup when I was fundraising for our Haiti adoption and had no idea what the story was behind their beginnings or how it would impact my life so deeply. Basically the founders had a dream to create an organization to help women heal from childhood sexual abuse and decided to launch the makeup company as way to create funding for their non-profit. God has blessed them beyond measure because their growth has surpassed everything they imagined and they were able to launch their outreach programs years before they thought they'd be ready to. I love that and love supporting a company that has such an important and personal vision.
I found out about the retreat they host last year and knew immediately it was something I needed. What I took away touched parts of my life that I've refused to expose and feel but I know there's so much more I want to do with my story and experiences so I have to tear down and through the walls holding me back. One of their anthem songs is the Fight Song and one of my personal fears is making videos and looking stupid, ugly or fat so often I record and delete, record and delete but no more. MY BRAVE is to stop worrying so much about how I think I look or appear and just go with what I know in my mind is truth (even if I don't feel it in my heart) and that is that I'm worth following my dreams, I look fine and I have something to offer that can make a difference in someone's life.
I'm so glad one of my current anthem songs is the Fight Song. Below is the anthem song I used to sing. I knew there was hope out there but I wasn't feeling it at the time and this song captured that.
Thank you The Younique Foundation for investing in me so I can be truly brave and reclaim hope in my life!